Funny Things We Are Taught

      I have thought about the things my mother taught me in my youth; and now as an adult I can look back with a new set of eyes and find some profound, some hysterical, and some useful. We have reasons why we believe some of these "important messages". I know in the case of one of my relatives, they were based on Traditions and Superstitions; in the case of a friend, his was based on Expediency; in my case, my mother felt it her duty to Instruct. 

      The useful instruction my mother gave me (just a tidbit of the whole encyclopedia of wisdom she bestowed on me) included the following;

• Never chew gum, it makes you look like a cow chewing it's udder! (this one is particularly true)
• Never put your elbows on the table while eating, you don't need to be propped up to eat!
• Never put your fingers in ANY orifice while in public. (enough said!)
• Knowing and using good manners and proper etiquette will make you comfortable in any situation. (I have used this throughout my life in countless arenas)
• Her FAVORITE EXPRESSION when you did something she didn't find proper; "That is rude, crude, and unrefined!"

      Some of the funny messages that were based on superstition delivered to relatives; 

• If you leave the bathroom door open when you take a bath you will get "Igre" (spelling ??) which translated means "a cold". 
• If you put your car keys on the table it is bad luck, really bad luck.
• If you put your purse on the floor you will lose all your money.
• If you sleep with your mouth open you will let in evil spirits at night. 

      The BEST one EVER was shared with me at church;

• When you hear the music playing on the Ice Cream Truck, it means they are OUT of ice cream!!!! 

      I couldn't stop laughing at this one. This father was sooo clever and I can only imagine how much money it saved him! What are some of the funny, instructional, or superstitious things your parents taught you?